Alone w/ Nanny

Mia is alone with the nanny today. Even though Mike and I went out for a date last Friday and left her with Ruka, we were only ten minutes away. Today it's her first full day without mommy, daddy or grandma. I am a little anxious at work. Nanny turned the cell phone off probably intentionally so she does not get disturbed but I want to talk to her to check on the baby! Anyways, trust and be trusted. It's hard to be a first time mom and learn to give trust.

Working hard

cooking, cleaning, looking after baby. Busy busy without mom here. Mia's hitting her six month growth spur and wants to eat around the clock. Still not loving the bottle so much. It's such a pain.

Mike and I teamed up today taking turns to watch over her while doing house chores. I never realized how much my mom did around the house. Now it will be a huge task ahead of us once we return full time to work next week.

Lost

My mom's gone. The leftover in the refrigerator is a cruel reminder of it when I came back home from work. She is just airborne and in fourteen hours plus a tranfer flight later, she will be home, no longer needing to cook for me and clean for me and babysit. I feel lost without her.

Two Events

Mia accomplished another milestone today. She rolled over on her own. I missed it as everyone else. I was at yoga. Mike put her in the floor gym on her back and went to the family room. When he came back, Mia was on her tummy. He thought my mom flipped her but my mom was cooking. They were delighted to learn that she did it on her own. I hope to see her in action next time.

In the morning we tried for the first time to give Mia solid food. Mike grinded brown rice into powder and we cooked it for a long time until it was soft. I tried one spoonful. However she was pushing the spoon out and was not interested. When I tried the third time, she pushed my spoon away and the cereal dropped on her chest. My mom was happy that Mia rejected the food because she was so worried baby would get indigestion from the brown rice. Well, I guess she is just not ready yet. We will wait for a couple more weeks. But I won't grind the rice any more. I've found out that there is a ton of premade baby cereal choices at the store.

Babysitting

Yesterday we went to Pete's wedding and asked my in-laws to come babysit. Mia was incredibly good. She took the bottle while she was fully awake, which never happens! My father in law did most of the work, changing diapers, bathing her and etc. We were gone for six hours from 4 to 10 PM. Apparently they finished one big bottle of wine and had some good fun.

Mike and I dressed up and had some fun as well at the wedding. Felt like we were on a date. I even had a chance to curl my hair at the hairdresser for the occassion. Noteworthy about the wedding, one of the groomsmen fainted as the bride and groom were about to exchange rings. It was like a scene on that TV show "America's Funnies Video". Ridiculous but I would never forget this wedding.

Mommy Club

Two months ago, Becky from the neighborhood asked me if I'd like to join a book club. Given the demands of a new born, I thought it would be really intimidating to commit to it. When my mom heard about it, she encouraged me to go ahead, one of the reasons being I did not have a mom network.

When I was single till when I got married but had no strings attached, I had little interest in children or the mundane topics about children. I seldom engaged in conversations about them. I avoid moms "at all cost" because to me, their only interest is in children and they are boring. I also found it a social conspiracy for the parents camp. My theory was it was all but a hoax to attract more folks into the camp. Parenthood is so damn hard and sacrificing that they simply paint a rosy picture of it and continue to sell it to others to suck them into the circle and suffer as well.

Until now... I am part of this conspiracy.

We had two book club meetings. Choosing which books to read is beside the point. The fact that all these women, all mothers of two or more children, most of them still working and some at very high power jobs such as the CFO of an international communication company, loved being able to go away from their husbands, sipping a glass of pinot grigio, chatting and laughing, stealing a moment away from their household chores to have a little fun themselves.

Being a first time mom, I was embraced by all of them. I am the young one to the club. They gave me unsolicited mommy advice, which I despised in the past but now eagerly listened to. I felt a keen sense of comradery among these moms. I am now one of those women who yap non-stop about mundane things and get emotional at the thought of leaving my baby and heading back to work. They listened and understood me. The empathy and knowing without me explaining myself is enough to make me feel included. It's the strangest thing. It's as if any moms, anywhere, any race, any nationality, could form a front, that could shoulder the world's weight and shelter each other. The kinship is unconditional and warming. I see their paths into motherhood, maturing as they are now. Maria said she pumped for eight months after going back to work. To keep the supply up, she pumped on airplanes, airport restrooms during business trips... I see strength and commitment in these women and I feel encouraged. It's a whirlwind tirp being tossed into motherhood. I thought I'd never be ready. Now that I am a mom, I have a long way to go but I do not flinch any more.

Shaved

We shaved Mia's head today. She now looks like a Tomboy. The Chinese usually shave baby's hair before the first birthday. It's supposed to stimulate hair growth. I was delaying this day for months. Even though I know her hair would grow back especially since she had such good hair since birth, it was a little difficult to let go. I got used to stroking her hair while holding her and I love her little parrot hair style. Oh well, here is a change!

Happy Birthday, Mommy

It's my birthday weekend. We decided to take baby to the Alexandria waterfront. I love dressing her up in girlie little dresses. It's just like playing with a doll. Mia has two cowlics therefore the hair on top of her head is dueling with each other. Mike used some water to press her forever sticking out hair down. She did not look herself afterwards but none the less she is my precious little pricess.I remember last year this time, my mom just came for a visit and I broke the news to her. I was also suffering from constant first trimester nausea then. Time flies, look how big she's grown now!

Great Falls Park

We went to the Great Falls Park on Sunday.

First Week with Nanny

Mia is getting along decently. Sometimes she cries and would only want my mom or Mike. Mom says Mia knows I am not around and is upset about it and it shows once in a while during the day. It makes my heart hurt. I come home and hug her really tight everyday after work.

RK brought a gift for Mia. It's a very pretty handkerchief sent from Japan by her parents. It's a very sweet gesture. I hope she and Mia will become good friends and she will grow to love Mia the way I do.

First Day with Nanny

Today is Mia's first day with nanny RK. RK arrived at the house at 6:40 because she did not pass her driver's license test and was dropped off earlier than scheduled start of 8 AM. I was already on the road and did not see her. Mike called me later to report on progress. Mia took 4 oz this morning. They had a walk and RK read to her. Mike said she did not know how to test the temperature of the milk, which concerned me. It's really tough for me to leave my sweet pea in a stranger's hands. Good thing my mom will be around for another month and Mike still has four days to observe and train. I have Friday off, I can't wait!

Work has been quite overwhelming and I have little time to digress and think about Mia. But at the back of my mind, she's ALWAYS there. I stare at her pictures on my desk, reminding myself I am doing all this for her. Now I have a newly found appreciation for working moms. It is really not easy.

Happy Father's Day

Today is Mike's first Father's Day. We went to the in-laws to celebrate.

Baby is starting to recognize faces and cried for a long time when she first got to grandparents' house. Today she warmed up a little to grandpa but would cry whenever grandma tried to hold her. Grandma was very disappointed. She would always calm down when Mike held her. She is daddy's little girl.

Mike has been a great dad, taking care of Mia and doing everything from changing diapers to bathing her. He's incredibly patient and loving. She's lucky to have a poppa like him.

Out 'N About

Today we went to the Town Center where they had the food festival. At the restaurant, the table next to us had a baby as well. That girl was shrieking at the top of her lungs when her dad tried to bottle feed her. He had to leave the table twice to calm her down. Her mom had to pick her up too. Meanwhile Mia sat quietly in the car seat. When I talked to her, she'd smile back. She's such a low maintenance and happy baby, I feel so grateful. When the dad passed by our table, he asked how old Mia was and commented that Mia was so much more cooperative. His daughter is four months old, just one week younger than Mia. I am proud of Mia always behaving like a little angel in public. We had a peaceful meal as usual. When I was done, I picked her up and sang to her. She was oh so content.

After lunch we walked around to check out the festival. Mia fell asleep. We stopped by Ben & Jerry's for ice-cream. Baby and dad were chill'n.

The Hungry Beast

Mia ate 17 oz by bottle today. My mom reported that she was a lot more efficient and willing.

When I got home, I noticed that she refused to look at me straight in the eyes. It almost feels like she is mad at me. She's obviously expressing her displeasure by turning her little face away. My heart sank. In the past she would have responded with a smile when I cooed at her. It took quite a while for her to warm up to me again.

In the evening, I fed her and she continued to gobble down. I wonder what is going on in that little brain of hers. She must think that she would not get the next meal from me for a long time.

Separation Anxiety

I went back to work today. I was so swamped the entire day I could hardly have time to dwell on the baby. My heart was heavy with worries when I heard my mom say Mia struggled with the bottle. She ate only 5 oz from 4:30 in the morning to 3 in the afternoon. She also only took a very short nap since I usually hugged her to sleep and we could both go for two hours. I did not cry though as I thought I would even though I missed snuggling with her and I missed her coos and giggles.

I found the lactation room to enable the continuation of breast feeding. As long as I can, I will pump for a few more months to give her the most benefits.

When I got home, she looked like she did not recognize me. I hugged her tight and fed her. The little one ate and ate as if there would be no tomorrow. I hope for a better day for her and me tomorrow.

Last Day of Leave

I go back to work tomorrow. I am sad and anxious. This afternoon I took Mia out for a long walk. I talked to her the entire time. She does not know I will leave before she wakes up tomorrow and will not see her for a whole day. I hope she and I will both ease into the transition.

First Haircut

Summer's here. To avoid heat rash and control Mia's wild hair, I got a baby clipper. Today Mike gave baby her first haircut. She was ok at first but soon started fussing. We managed to shave off a bit in the back and cut an inch from each side. I haven't decided if I want to shave all her hair off yet. It's quite a popular thing to do back home, which is supposed to help hair growth but Mia's already growing quite a lot of hair, I am not sure how much more help we need.

4 Months

Mia had her four-month checkup today. She weighs 15 lbs and 15 ozs and is 26 1/4 inches tall. She's about 95 percentile for both weight and height. Big girl! Everything is fine with her. She had three shots and an oral dose again. Mike picked her up immediately after the shots and had her face the nurse. He was afraid that baby would associate pain with us. He was in such a hurry so she would not see his face, the nurse did not even have a chance to put band-aids on her.

She was not too irritable after she got back home. Hopefully she would not be affected by the shots this weekend.

I held her against my chest before I put her to bed this evening. She was already asleep and her little face was nestled in the nook of my neck. I could not stop staring at her soft cheeks. I never felt so much tenderness. Being a mom really transformed me.

Star Wars Babe

We got the matching Star Wars T-shirt and onesie for X'mas last year before Mia was even born. Mike's been waiting for baby to fit in the onesie. Now finally! Proud Star Wars maniac daddy took babe down to his man cave today in the matching outfit. Too cute! :D

Hopefully this would be it and we won't see Mia dressed in Star Wars costumes all the Halloweens in the future.

Little Changes

Mia is starting to grab various objects and sometimes my hair. Her grip is pretty tight!

She now also sleeps on her side when she naps with me. She was able to roll to her side on her own a few days ago. This morning when she was on her side, she rolled all the way to her belly. We have to watch her now in case she falls out of her changing pad.