Mia started her 1st day at daycare today. This moring, Mike and I both drove to send her off. The past two weeks, we took her in twice to get familiar with the environment and the teachers. She seemed ok then so we were curious to see how she would fare today.
I was giving Ms. Mimi Mia's items to keep when Mike called out to the boy next to Mia. I caught Mia hitting the shelf against the wall and falling on the ground. It turned out the little boy Brandon, shoved Mia and she fell even though she was happily minding her own business. Mike went over immediately and scolde the boy. Mia cried with much surprise and dismay. Mike picked her up. Both Ms. Mimi and Ms. Ismahan scolded the boy. Ms. Mimi said she was so sorry. Mia was shrieking since we all started paying attention to her. When I picked her up from Mike, my heart was aching. What a rude welcome!
When we were talking to the teacher, I started tearing up. I feel terribly uncomfortable leaving her here and I was so worried. The teachers assured me that Mia would be in good hands but I still had such a heavy heart.
When she wasn't looking we quickly left the room. I looked at her through the little window on the door and headed out with tears streaking down my face. I drove to work distracted. All morning I was heart broken. I called the daycare around 10:30. The teacher said she had a little cereal and half an orange. She then cried and everytime anybody came into the room, she called for mama. Ms. Pinky held her for an hour then she got better. My heart sank and I cried. I spoke with my coworkers who are moms that have gone through this. They comforted me with understanding words and suggested that I should arrange to pick her up early everyday this week. I cried a dozen or so times today including tearing up in my boss' office. I could not help it as soon as I thought about the crying little one, probably thinking we have abandoned her.
Mike stopped by at 1 and reported back to say Mia was sleeping in the stroller in the hall way since she would not sleep in her cot. I called the daycare again. Ms. Mimi said she did not want lunch and would not sleep. They took her out on the stroller and she just got sleepy. I teared up again after the call. I have become one of those moms that I couldn't believe I'd become. I feel so guilty even though I really don't have any choice.
I hurried home after my three o'clock meeting. I actually rescheduled two more meetings after so I could pick Mia up quickly. I sped like a demon. As soon as I drove into the parking lot, my heart was beaming with the thought that I'd liberate my baby. When I opened the door, I saw her sitting at the corner, all alone, eyes red and swollen, with her lammy in one hand and her seahorse in the other hand. There was also a toy puppy tugged under her leg. She saw me, pauzed for a second, then it registered. Her little face twisted and she broke out crying and reached up towards me. I ran to her, gave her a big hug and planted a thousand kisses on her cheeks. She smelled of soiled diaper and I just wanted to cry.
It was a terrible day for both of us. She got home, ate noodles, sweet potatoes, grapes and yogurt. She played with most of her toys. I think tomorrow will be even harder since she now knows what is ahead of her. I plan to leave work early again to pick her up. Oh how I hate this!
